Many of the things we say have more than one meaning, and even if that is not intended, the one who listens can add another meaning to our words. For example if we say, “Are you going to a party?” versus “Are you going to a party again?” We can be putting a second meaning into the second phrase simply by adding the word “again.” Tone of voice and choice of words can send a message of displeasure, mistrust or fear. We live in an age where every device for communication seems to be in our hands yet we communicate so poorly. We do not pause to choose our words; we do not consider the position of the other person before we speak.
Being alert and sensitive to others takes practice, planning and experience. We will make mistakes, but as we develop this ability, the mistakes will be less and the control we have over various encounters with others will be better by far. The Bible says “a word fitly spoken” (Proverbs 25:11), but we need a good vocabulary of words that we can use and we need to develop a sense of sensitivity toward others and to the words, tone of voice and body language we use in our conversations. Learn from other good communicators and grow.